Whilst I'm wearing my events hat, here's how to plan the perfect Christmas party....

Here's a little something I wrote, with a little bit of help from the lovely lot at Ramarketing about Christmas Parties!  

How to plan the perfect festive party…

Whether you’ve been put in charge of planning your work Christmas party or have decided to organise a small gathering of your closest family and friends to celebrate the festive season, there are certain things that must be considered in order to execute the perfect party. 

“Location, location, location…”

The most crucial factors when planning your event, Christmas or otherwise, are the location and the venue. If you have an idea of how many guests will be attending and where they will be travelling from this is a fantastic starting point to booking your venue. Things to consider for this are: is there accommodation at the venue i.e. a hotel? Is there parking? Is there a wheelchair lift? Can you sample the menu beforehand? Does it make gluten free Christmas dinners? Is there a vegetarian option? Does everyone want a Christmas dinner or would a Spanish fiesta work better? You really need to cover all bases at the very beginning and try and envisage every possible ‘worst case scenario’ to save anything going wrong at the eleventh hour. You wouldn’t want anyone turning up to find they couldn’t park directly outside and having to walk for miles in the December cold.

Christmas parties are one of the few times where you could have a huge variety of ages and personalities in one room. The key to picking your venue is to make sure everyone would feel comfortable there. For example, the over 60s would probably feel a little out of place in a nightclub or a warehouse rave. So, try and choose somewhere that caters for all of your guests, if you know that there will be that diversity amongst your guests. The most stress-free way to ensure this is to work with the larger venues such as As You Like It in Jesmond or city centre hotels e.g. The Vermont. Most will have function rooms for various sized groups, be accessible for guests of all abilities and will provide themed menus.

Alternatively, if you’re planning a more intimate event, why not pick something really niche to give them the best Christmas experience ever? Something different makes the night far more memorable.

“Tick tock...”

Okay, so unless you’re a professional party planner you’re not likely to be thinking of Christmas parties until the first snowflake arrives. Unfortunately, the best Christmas dates within venues become booked up extremely quickly, so the sooner you can confirm a date the better, but chances are you will need to be flexible to cater for your guests and the availability of the venue. Ideally you should be in talks with your desired venue in September. And don’t panic if the venue you had wanted isn’t available, there will be others.  At AMV we regularly help panicked customers when the appointed “Christmas event planner” simply can’t cope anymore; by the time the event arrives all of the initial stress is forgotten about.

As you can imagine an event, no matter what size, takes (or should take) a lot of time in planning and preparation. If you don’t have the time then delegate to somebody who does or outsource.

“Show me the money…”

Best advice – calculate the very top budget by getting quotes for everything you want then assess in order of importance. Some things will have to be sacrificed (unless money isn’t an issue) but remember within this industry most things are negotiable so spend time talking with suppliers and entertainers to get the best price for what you want, however, take care not to skimp on factors like food, venue and all those special little extras that will make your party a night to remember.

Eat, drink and be merry…

Because Christmas only comes around once a year, adding Christmas themed extras are a must.  An easy and cost-effective way to do this is by focusing on the drinks menu, mulled wine and eggnog are great winter warmers and provide a nice start the event, after that, adding some Christmas themed cocktails to the bar is a good idea. To give the party that real sense of occasion, serve some bubbly. To add that Christmas touch to fizz, place cranberries in the glass before pouring instead of a summer berry such as a strawberry and serve it with fresh mistletoe and a candy cane as a keepsake and conversation starter.

We can’t talk about Christmas and not mention food glorious food. The North East is bustling with fantastic, restaurants and catering companies that serve locally sourced food, most of which will work with you to develop the perfect menu for your guests. As previously mentioned try and get everybody’s dietary requirements early. You should try and cater for everyone’s taste buds and not just serve a bog standard vegetarian lasagne for the veggies. Be creative and most of all ensure it’s delicious for all. You don’t have to serve a traditional turkey dinner with all of the trimmings either, why not send a quick cuisine survey out to your guests prior to the event to see what they would like to eat? You could be surprised by the results and your guests will feel much more integral to the event itself, resulting in them really wanting to come.

“If music be the food of love…”

Music is also very high on the list of priorities – especially at Christmas time, yes, the carols and Christmas classics will make an appearance but you should also mix it up with other popular music as well. A great way to change things up is by booking a live cover band such as the leading North East band Livewire. This adds excitement, spontaneity and will really get your guests in the Christmas spirit, and after all it’s the guests that make a party! Having a dance floor is highly recommended as it makes it clear where the dancing is to happen, leaving those who don’t want to partake in ‘The Macarena’ at a safe distance in the seated dining area.

Prior to the band’s performance and perhaps in-between their sets, it’s always good to provide your guests with an alternative form of entertainment. By doing this you can break the ice between any guests who may not know each other, it creates a new talking point and also adds to the experience of your party. Entertainment that works at this kind of event includes magicians, caricaturists, dancers, stilt walkers, photo booths, and aerial performers.  There is a huge amount of weird and wonderful performers who can keep the mood on a high and make the experience for your guests even more memorable.

Frankie says…

After putting in all the work of planning your perfect Christmas party, the most important thing to do is for you to relax and enjoy yourself. If you’re not having fun, then your guests probably aren’t either. The best way to ensure your enjoyment is to plan, plan, plan, if every ‘I’ has been dotted and every ‘T’ crossed, this should make for a stress-free evening. If you don’t have time to plan everything yourself, what with buying Christmas presents, party outfits and your award-winning turkey, then it could be worth speaking to a professional.

Because it's Christmas, here's some pictures of a couple of Christmas dogs.  Everyone loves a dressed up doggy (I promise you we all love dogs at AMV, and they're both very happy dogs who do love a bit of dressing up)!

www.amvlivemusic.com www.amvlivevenues.com

Pain, fear and other random issues...

First of all I feel I need to say I really don't mean to offend anyone, these are all my personal thoughts on my situation.....I'm scared man, I've had my head cut open several times.  It's a total pain in the you know what, and it really really annoys me.  So, that's probably why in real life (and most probably in my blog) I can be somewhat (incredibly) blunt sometimes, honesty is the best policy dudes.  Sometimes I'm happy, sometimes I'm not...plod plod plod.....and there is absolutely positively nothing wrong with plodding.

I'm back tracking again, I felt the need to let you all know a couple of things.  I know I may make light of the situation I am in, I perhaps dull it down an awful lot too but the fact of this story is each day I wake up with good vision in my one eye, a headache that's just a dull ache I think myself incredibly lucky.  Some people don't and just can't get this.  Those people are the ones who say '....but anyone can get hit by a bus tomorrow'......my response to those people.....at least it'll be a surprise.  That's the key thing here.  Let that be a warning to you.  Never say that to me.....I know that a couple of you will absolutely say this to me in the next week.  Not mentioning any names.

The problem I have is that if my shunt blocks, meaning the fluid isn't draining away from my brain then you're in a coma within 24 hours (if you're lucky).  Sometimes it's less, sometime's a little longer.  I have to also mention here that this is my experience of Hydrocephalus.  It does appear differently in other people.  The symptoms of needing more surgery include a bad headache, vomiting, poor vision and confusion.  So thinking about all of this, if I go to sleep with a particularly bad head there will always be that worry that in the morning I won't wake up and the next time I do wake up it'll be in hospital.  It's always a worry but not something I can let myself dwell over.  It's hard to understand, I get that but there aren't many things similar to this feeling.....that scary thought of more surgery is always somewhere in my head, it's there to keep me on form I think but it's also a particularly negative part of my world.  Tough though, go to get on with it!

 So, moving on.  We're getting to side effects (shout out to Miss Archer here, without whom I would never know if it was effects or affects)....headaches.....aaaah the world of headaches!!  There's always someone with a headache isn't there?!  Well I shall tell you this, you've not had a bad headache unless you've had brain surgery.  This may sound harsh but honestly take some deep breaths and tell yourself, it's not brain surgery!  Headaches are just part of the everyday excitement now, you get used to it.  The most annoying thing about taking pain killers every day for headaches is when some other person either whinges about taking pills because 'they aren't natural' or because they've taken 4 already that week and they'll 'rattle' when they're old.  Number 1, if anyone will rattle, it's most likely going to be me, I think absolutely nothing of taking 8 pain killers a day (you should all remember this kind of thing)!  Number 2 if you're not willing to take pain killers then you're probably not in that much pain.  Number 3, why do these people think medications were invented??  Skip off to La La Land people!   There will always be someone taking far more medication than two paracetamol or your prescription drugs of choice, trust me.  

Please don't take this blog post as an 'I am far more ill than you' post, although in some ways it is.  I mean I know so many of you with great health.  However, I am also well aware that there are far more people more ill than me, I catch up on forums and support groups once a month or so and so many people with similar problems to myself are unable to work at all.  I am incredibly lucky I can push (and it is a push, if only I were rich I'd hire someone to shove me out of bed in a morning) myself to work part time.  There are also hundreds and hundreds of different illnesses that leave people in so much pain each day, my dad is one of these people.  I am simply giving you my impression of my illness and how I push through......here's a pic of me 'pushing through'!

So what else, I am always happy to give alternative therapies and what not a go too.  I go through huge amounts of Tiger Balm.  Here's a tip for you, put layers and layers on the stuff on your forehead if you've a headache, it'll burn and the burn is much easier to take than the headache.  Not everyone can handle the burn, please use with caution, start with a little bit if you want to try it, then you'll get hardcore like me.  It's similar thinking to a Tens machine.  Diverting the pain to something else.  I must say I've tried a Tens machine in the past, the only thing it did was give me a pain in the side and a bigger headache.  I imagine them to be like those electric shock suits you can get, hilarious to watch but just gives you a new pain and possible whiplash off being 'shocked'!  

What else, what else??  Hmm...we've been through my eye shebang.  That's ok now, much better being blind in one eye apart from the bashing in to things on my left, the inability to judge steps and the sometimes soreness and weeping (as in leaking not crying).  Did you know this though........you can't catch with one eye!!!  FACT!  Off you go, find a friend, shut one eye and get them to throw something at you.  You'll most likely find yourself standing like a toddler with your arms out straight looking rather odd.  Let me know how you get on.....

Sleeping, many of you will say, Nina is always asleep!!  I am not though!!  The difference is that I don't have a deep sleep.  To get you to sleep at night, the brain releases a hormone named Melatonin.  Melatonin is the opposite of Seratonin, so Seratonin is what wakes you up in the morning, makes you pull yourself together and feel alive.  Melatonin is what tells you when to sleep, so this will/should be around 10/11pm in the evening!  Again, just to note, I am not medically trained, I have a GCSE in Biology (thanks Mrs W) but that's as far as I got.  This is my understanding from the past 16 years of hospitals, consultants, surgeons etc.  Due to damage to my brain during initial surgery my brain no longer produces this.  Now, whilst you can get a Melatonin pill it my opinion (again, do I need to keep saying this?  It is my blog??) it just doesn't work the same, I spent years taking it and not really getting anywhere.  So for many years now, I have been free from proper DEEP sleep.  On the odd occasion I get one but most of the time it takes me hours to drop off.

Funny old thing the brain.  I haven't told you all this either, now this is quite interesting!  So, I have a very bad memory, I remember weird stuff, nothing sensible.  Have to write down the sensible stuff!  So anyway, on the day I was finally admitted to hospital, I'd been vomiting for months and so had eaten very little but that day I'd managed a spoonful of Coco Pops and half a Philadelphia Cheese and Pineapple sandwich.  To this day I have never again eaten Coco Pops and as for Pineapples.  Well me and Pineapples have big issues.  Their very existence insults me!  I honestly can't tell you how much they disgust me!

My memory is another difficult part of my life, it seems to work like this....I seem to remember important events in my life, I remember random things about nice things we've done or experienced, I remember my name and my friends and numbers too.  What I don't remember are things I have no interest in, random hospital appointments and meetings.  Obviously we could discuss the parts of the brain that relate to these areas of memory but again this isn't a medical blog and it's probably not that exciting.

Each time I have surgery, my worry is that I will come out the same.  The thought of being unable to communicate or not live the life to which I am accustomed is the worst thing.  After my first surgery which was very long and scary, I had to get walking as soon as possible, it's hard, for some reason you seem to not be able to get everything working together, I have some not so great memories of physiotherapists!  They're all great and I am forever thankful but my goodness did I hate you all.  I will never forget being marched up and down stairs in the General Hospital only days after surgery.  There's also a worry that I will come out less intelligent, that's a scary thought for me.  In the early days I always felt I had to test my knowledge with a crossword or something!

The moral of this story is that brain surgery gets easier but the pain never goes and in all honesty, I'm not sure I have ever said this but each time I think I do lose a part of me.  It's incredibly frustrating and draining and quite often I find myself thinking 'what the hell am I doing?'.  I mean that with regards to continuing with GCSE's then A-Levels and then a degree without a year out.  This is probably where the mental thing comes in, I mean it's pretty mental, I would never advise it, you will hit a wall.  I don't regret it though.

I eventually did have a year out after my degree and more surgery.  Just the one though!  I felt like if I stopped, I would stop for ever and that just wouldn't of worked for me.

I've found this film useful in recent years, it shows what's what with Hydro.  It's good to share things like this, hopefully it can help raise awareness and allow everyone to have a better understanding of Hydro.

So, off I skip......I hope you'll join me in the next post!  I want to divert and share an article I'd written about Christmas Parties and then we can get back to life and it's limitations.  There are absolutely limitations in my life but it's ok.  I am always happy to stand up and shout about what I can't do as so many people seem to drown in this 'anything is possible' statement.  I think statements like that can totally destroy you, it's the last thing I want to hear!  

So long school, hello life.....PANIC!

So you turn 17/18 and you get your A-Level results.....and what a day that was!  I was so concerned I was going to do really awful I made plans to meet my 6th form tutor at the school gates whilst sitting in my parents car.  I could get my results and sulk on my own that way.  The thought of everyone telling me 'I had done so well, considering' was not appealing and it still isn't now.  I am well aware that I have achieved way more than 95% of people with brain conditions etc but when you have a mind like mine, it just isn't enough!

Anyway, I got my results...I think I knew I had done ok when I noticed the look on Mrs Hilton's face.....she told me how I'd done then pushed me back in the car, told me to go get changed and put some make up on (!) then get straight back there for the Journal and Chronicle to interview me.  That evening, we all went in to town and celebrated.  Those were the days where the place to be was upstairs in Flynn's on the Quayside and then over the bridge to the BIGGEST PARTY ON THE PLANET - Baja!  

That summer, me and the girls went on our first holiday with no parents!  Very exciting, lots and lots of fun and I have to just get in here that it was nothing like what you see on that BBC Three programme 'Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents'.  Whilst being there, Little C and I celebrated our 18th's.  She's the day before mine so for a whole 24 hours we did nothing but celebrate and have fun until we were picked up for the airport to start the journey home.  That part is all a bit blurry.  My only recollection is eating chocolate fingers in the queue for check in and offering them around, then being told we should chill out or we wouldn't get on the plane!

Here's me and my Dame Allan's girls.  This is a more recent picture, there'd of
absolutely been hell on if I'd of used an old one!

So after an eventful summer filled with fun and great memories, I embarked on at first a HND in Music Theatre at Newcastle College followed by the 'top up to a degree' year at Sunderland University.  I am so pleased I did it that way, staying at home really helped, I had the support of my family and things were just easier.  Perhaps I did miss out on venturing down the country to university but I wouldn't of achieved much if I'd gone.  Secretly (being a massive lover of all things toon - not the football team though) I just don't think I would of managed 3 years being/living in Sunderland.

I also must do a huge shout out here to my school, Dame Allan's.  It really is a place where you feel nurtured and loved.  It's a bit like the 'Cheers' bar...."you wanna be where everybody knows your name".  The people are nice, the teachers are nice and I really feel so privileged to have been able to attend.  I must also add that in our leavers assembly I was asked to sing.  Actually I can't remember being asked, I probably demanded it or just invited myself, but that's the way it went!  I chose to sing 'Out Here On My Own' from Fame (obviously).  Great song, with lush lyrics!  Go have a listen to it.  For me, leaving Dame Allan's was like skipping through The Serengeti (I imagine, couldn't afford the insurance to actually go do that).....yeah so skipping along, singing something from Hairspray totally unaware of killer Lions!

One of our fancy dress nights, I'm the cat...

I have to say though, year 1 of college was a ball, pretty much just as I had imagined.  Not just a ball, like super fun 'doooooo' times with singing in hallways and pirouettes in the bathroom (that may of just been me).  Karaoke was ALWAYS on the cards (yesss!) along with fancy dress and added craziness.  I assume most people meet lots of like minded people when they go on courses and start degrees but in all honesty, a performing arts college was literally the most mental people all in one building.  No one was shy, it wasn't quite FAME but at some points it felt that way.  I met some of the most lushest people here, a good few fellow Geordies but also some of those 'Southerners' from anywhere past Sunderland....

Silly faces...

It's quite a nice opportunity to say hello to the many faces on these pics, I keep in touch with some of you but to all of you sending thoughts of happy times and lots of love!

Me and Teeny Bopper

This lady here deserves a mention too.  This is me and Tina on our way to Grotbag's 21st in Leeds, I've so many utterly ridiculous memories of that trip, it was a good one!  Sadly Tina passed away in 2011, people call me brave but this lady right here was far braver than me.  She's unforgettable and often in my thoughts, my fellow dodgy brainy!

So, then what happened.....I graduated with an HND, they let me out of hospital for the day to go to the Civic Centre and pick up my certificate.  I had a cannula in my hand, got a few pics and then went back to hospital!  I didn't make the ball that night, I was totally there in spirit though!  

Me and Matt

I should also mention it was at this time I met the man in my life, the big man, the tree monkey, the gentle giant.  He'll be horrified if I tell you all his secrets so I won't but I'll simply tell you he's the laid back calm one in the relationship.  The grounded one.  Without him I'd be like some kind of ...I was about to say manic nutter but I may be viewed as that anyway.  I'd be worse though!

I then started my first and final year at Sunderland University.  Many of the Newcastle College lot also came but I also made some amazing new mates, in fact the laughs didn't stop.  I met one lady; Kim (there were many names for that one, but we'll keep it clean) who was almost as mental as me.  We wrote a song for our final performance in a corridor, you know because corridors are totally inspirational places.  I think we both knew we were never going to be song writers but we'd written a half decent break up song that Taylor Swift would be proud of.  If you'd asked me a few months ago who Taylor Swift was, I'd of looked at you blankly but she was on something I was watching recently and apparently she likes writing songs about breaking up with people, so there you go.  With a bit of help from a pretty exceptional pianist named Andy, who funnily enough became Kim's partner, we'd written a whole song complete with music.  If you'd been there, you'd of laughed, I am smiling as a write this, it was all pretty funny.  The cringiest break up song, written in a corridor.  If Taylor Swift is reading this and you're after a new song, give me a shout, sure I can find it somewhere.....you'll love it!  

Sadly I'm not able to bang on about the various (slightly offensive) rubbish we'd shout and laugh about, some of you are too sensitive (annoyingly).  In fairness to me, I think am doing a bloody great job of keeping the language and sarcasm under controlled (another high five to me), if you talked to me if real life, you wouldn't be so lucky.  I'm a swearer and too sarcastic....you should all be getting to realise now that I don't care what people think.  It doesn't make me a bad person and in fact, the issue I have with swearing could well be brain damage (if only I could get a card for that) - get over it, I have.  Despite what many people think, swearing does not mean you have a limited vocabulary.  If you Google it, the world will actually tell you it's more that people may perceive you as unintelligent because you swear (it was probably someone not that bright who said that) when in actuality the problem there lies with the judgmental person not you.  More fool them.  One other thing you'll find is that people who swear are more caring and emotional.  Totally true.     

Anyway back to Uni and 'going radge (*Geordie word, means mental) in corridors'.....it was a year of not only hard work but of good fun and more opportunities to make memories.  You may of noticed I often go on about making memories, I try to make sure I make memories, planning stuff to do in life.  Little things though, not travelling the world or buying a Ferrari, just having a little experience everywhere you go.  I can see how that may sound weird but it's something you'd be more familiar with if you had an illness that could take you down any day.  It's not about the big things, it's about the journey....standing in the kitchen with your loved one cooking and being daft, that sort of thing.  

Just over a year or so ago, I got the awful news that Kimmy had suddenly passed away.  Not another total legend gone.....she's another awesome lady who's never far from my thoughts.  The world is a funny place.  I sometimes find myself thinking 'what the hell is going on'....like I'm living in mad hysteria mostly surrounded by lunatics.....  Anyway, to the left is a picture of Kim, me and Lizzie.  We're all looking very wrapped up, I'm assuming it was cold...

If ever there was a time to take a few minutes to count yourself lucky, now is that time.  Life is precious, you get one shot, fill it with people who make you happy.  If you're not happy, shuffle things about, make a change.  Never forget though that the grass isn't always greener on the other side and don't trample on people to get there.  I totally believe in karma and that will get you bad karma.  

'Don't be a banana, think about the karma.....' Me, 2014  

I know I've mentioned that it's likely I will miss really important things out.....well I just did that.  This was the year my brain surgeon sent me (reluctantly) off for Stereotactic Radiotherapy.  I say reluctantly as many very fabulous surgeons can't really see past the cutting thing.  It's not their bag.  I mean there's no real evidence that Stereotactic Radiotherapy really helps, it's my understanding (and it really is what I think) that they shoot this laser in, it's very precise, you're required to wear a halo (a big metal contraption, screwed onto your head WITH A SCREWDRIVER whilst you're awake)....and it creates scar tissue.  The idea was to stop the leaky vein I had, so to speak, from leaking out in to my brain.  Whilst there is no actual evidence to prove this worked, I have yet to have another major bleed and there is no evidence it didn't work.  Fingers crossed...

Here's a really awful picture of me modelling the halo.
It makes me feel particularly sick but if there was a time to share,
this is probably that time.

Getting the Stereotactic Radiotherapy was the first time I had to venture away from home (I mean Newcastle) for treatment.  I have to say here that I am so incredibly lucky and I can not stress that enough, to have brain issues in the North East of England.  The Neurology Department, now based at the Royal Victoria Infirmary but in the old days it was at Newcastle General Hospital is one of the leading National and International Neuro Centres.  In my 16 years of being ill, I have seen people come from all over the UK to have brain surgery here so I really do think myself very lucky.  

Anyway, the Stereotactic was in Sheffield.....me and my mum made the journey.  It was weird.  Being in a hospital when hospitals were so familiar but you didn't know anyone was pretty scary but it was only for 2 days so I coped!  I should probably also mention that you're awake for this treatment.  I think they do that so they know they aren't hitting any parts they shouldn't.  It sounds funny but it's true, I've only recently read a story about a man playing the violin whilst having brain surgery.  I think he may of been an actual violinist and so they didn't want to damage his skills.  I didn't play the violin, I did however sing 'Runaway' by The Corrs and various other songs most of the way through.

So that was that, onward we go.  Off to think about what to do next!  So many decisions, lots of stress but I knew I could make it, even if I plodded the whole way.....I love a good plod.  There's nothing wrong with plodding, some people dream big but some of us are happy to get from one day to the next without any excitement or drama!

Hello and welcome....

Welcome to my blog!

I'm Nina, aged 31, I'm a mentalist  Others may say I'm a creative wonder with a totally awesome sense of humour and a fabulous taste in music.  I agree with both, but favour the latter!

What I am not is a graphic designer, website extraordinaire or anything like that so please forgive any stray letters, I'm not worried about it so you shouldn't either!

 Maybe we'll all go on a journey through this blog, maybe not, but I reckon you'll all learn something about something.  Maybe I will 'find' myself, I've always wondered how one loses oneself in the first place and I wouldn't say I was lost but perhaps I'll find something.  I am hoping people will learn about living with illness, planning events and festivals, being dramatic and how to get stuff for free (much to the annoyance of everyone)!

In a very short paragraph, I'd like to tell you all a little about me!  That is nigh on impossible (the one paragraph thing not the talking about myself) but I will give it a go!

The Oldies!

I was born in 1983 (with most of the best people) to two wonderful, though slightly crackers, people.  I must give my parents a shout out, they've been awesome, and I owe many of my successes in life to them.  I was nameless for a bit until whilst ironing one day my mum heard them talking about the Royal Family.  In short, the Queen Mother's Mother was named Nina Cecilia Bowes-Lyon, she is sometimes listed as Cecilia Nina but as this is my blog we shall call her Nina Cecilia.  A name is pretty much all I share with her though, she was deeply religious, a keen gardener and embroiderer - I am none of these things!  She was however a gregarious and accomplished hostess which I'd say I was too!  I'd like to have been a member of the royal family, by that I mean, I would of loved being a princess, I mean, I am well aware I am one anyway but I just haven't got the blue blood.  Mine is definitely red, I've seen it!

So, back to me.  I was going to try and write this blog in an orderly fashion, but that's not me in real life (though it is in work) and just like if you were talking to me in real life, a conversation may spur up a song that needs to be sung or some random bit of comedy genius. I've said this because 'back to me' reminded me of something but I'll leave that for later.

I had a pretty normal (I did move around 12 times up until I was 12 but that was pretty normal) life growing up, I got to see some beautiful parts of the country and some very large and posh manor houses.  Dad was a Head Gardner but we returned to Newcastle so I could be settled in a school before doing GCSE's and what not.  School was great, I made some amazing friends who are still part of my life today and I've recently returned to run drama clubs, we'll get more on to this later but being back in a building where life changed so much is rather strange.  

So, life was smooth and easy, I would say I didn't have a care in the world, knew where I was going and what I was doing with my life.  At the age of 14 I began having intermittent headaches, they progressively got worse and began to affect my eyes until I had permanent double vision.  By this point I was 15, obviously I had been to both hospital and GP at this point several times but it isn't really about them, there's a huge lack of awareness for brain injuries and this is a battle that needs fighting and is being fought, just not by me.  It's a horrible situation, I almost lost my life by the time someone was listening (to my dad swearing and generally being angry in a&e) but you have to put things like that to one side.

At the very end of August, a couple of months after my 15th birthday I was eventually admitted and scanned at the hospital.  I had a large and damaging bleed in the centre of my brain, that's the Pineal region of the brain should anyone want to investigate.  I was very very ill, I had a huge amount of pressure and water on the brain (Hydrocephalus)which was down to the damage that had been occurring in my head.  At this point, the damage caused was irreversible and left me shunt (brain drain) dependent.  

What the hell is a Shunt?

Well folks, to me it's life, everything but at the same time a right pain in the ass and a constant reminder of being ill.  In basic terms, a shunt is a tube which drains excess Cerebral Spinal Fluid (CSF/Brain Juice) from the brain to my stomach.  In 'normal' people (ha,must laugh) there's a natural canal in your brain where CSF flows.  I suppose you can think of CSF like oiling the Tinman (yes, this is the first thing that came in my head), just a bit more extreme.  Like if the Tinman wore a space suit filled with oil so he never ceased up.  The CSF keeps your brain nice and fresh (I totally made that up but it sounds good).

So, to conclude our shunt discussion, shunt = life?  Ha, well, not quite all of the time.  Sadly the downside of shunts is that they can block.  It's not uncommon for what I like to call 'brain fluff' to get itself stuck in my shunt resulting in horrific headaches once again, poor vision and vomiting.  So, as I am writing this, I've had around 8 or 9 brain surgeries, I honestly lost count at 4 and narrowly avoided more surgery recently.

Aside from regular headaches and a few other things, having Hydro has affected my eyes quite badly.  As I've mentioned I had double vision which finally became permanent, I spent time wearing awful thick contact lenses which would block site in one eye but sharp got sick of that and demanded my eye doctor do something.  I say demanded and I really mean it, I don't beat around the bush, I walked in to his office, told him if they didn't sort it I would get a fork and stick it in one of my eyes.  Sorry for that vision, not a nice one but anything would be better than double vision for life.  I should mention that before my somewhat mafia style demands, eye surgeons tried twice to fix my double vision but sadly it never worked.

Not long after my somewhat horrific demand, my wonderful eye surgeon came to me with a new idea, they'd not done it before but it could work and I was up for giving anything a go.  In simple terms they put a black lens inside my eye behind my actual lens.  It's like a cataract operation but instead of taking something out, they put something in.  Anyway, great news, I was blind in one eye.  Hurrah!  Funny thing to celebrate but I can't remember another time I have been that happy.

Pre 15 I was calm, studious and I aimed to please.  Brain surgery changed me, I returned from a coma and major surgery with a massive attitude!  Not always a bad one, but I am not the kind of person to beat around the bush, I am one of the most honest people you will ever meet.  I've a huge sense of determination and although I am unable to work full time, I've had to deal with my illness affecting all areas of my life, I try to look forward and plow through!  So, please excuse me if I don't appear sympathetic about your sniffle or your grazed knee, I'm just more of a 'give sympathy when there's life limiting problems' kinda' girl!

Some may say I'm a tornado in the calmest place on earth, others will say I get the job done, a proper do-er. Either way, I say what I say, I swear too much and get very frustrated with those of us who float around in life!  I don't have time for that and you shouldn't either!

Thank you for reading my first blog entry I look forward to letting you all in to my career and all that in my next post, but for now, so long friends X

"Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we should dance" Proverb